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For those of us who weren’t of legal drinking age when the original Mean Girls film debuted in 2004, the viewing experience of the 2024 film adaptation of the Broadway musical it spawned—which dropped in theaters January 8—is bound to hit a little different. For one, it’s far more likely to involve wine.
If you question what a reasonable person is doing pairing Mean Girls characters with wine, then we direct your attention to our incredibly detail-oriented and illuminating pairing guide for the season 10 Vanderpump Rules reunion. Wine pairings aren’t only for elevating various foods and flavors; they also have the power to make tangible things that are otherwise inexpressible. Also, it’s just fun, and for that, we make no apologies.
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And one more thing: Pairing Mean Girls characters with wine was surprisingly easy to do. Effortless, even. So many of the following pairings just made sense. They are, as one Gretchen Wieners might say, so fetch. And yes, we are making fetch happen.
Without further ado, here are the wines that go best with your favorite member of the Mean Girls universe. Whether you’re more of a Cady Heron kind of gal (Riesling) or a Regina George type (Cabernet Sauvignon), we’ve got you covered.
Cady Heron and Riesling
Mean Girls’ central heroine is a study in contrasts. She’s well-liked and can be super sweet, but in her dryest moments, she’ll cut you with racy acidity. That’s Riesling, a people-pleasing grape that’s easily molded and can take many forms. Both Cady and Riesling can be either the star or blend into the crowd. You may not at first know what they’re up to under their many layers, but with time, both have an undeniable likeability and charm.
Rieslings our reviewers are loving right now:
- Pewsey Vale 2022 Single Vineyard Estate 1961 Block Riesling (Eden Valley), 94 Points. Buy here.
- Atwater 2020 Riesling (Finger Lakes), 91 Points. Buy here.
- Koehler 2021 Riesling (Santa Ynez Valley), 92 Points. Buy here.
Regina George and Cabernet Sauvignon
We all know that Cab is king. Or in the case of Regina George, queen. This character is a natural leader and upholder of the status quo, so naturally, she’s Cabernet Sauvignon. Cab Sauv can be elegant or rip you apart (with tannin), something Regina knows a thing or two about.
Cabernet Sauvignons our reviewers are loving right now:
- Josh Cellars 2021 North Coast Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon (North Coast), 90 Points. Buy here.
- La Honda Winery 2022 Merry Pranksters Cabernet Sauvignon (Santa Cruz Mountains), 92 Points. Buy here.
- Glunz 2021 Cabernet Sauvignon (Paso Robles), 91 Points. Buy here.
Karen Shetty and Pinot Grigio
Fun but extremely ditzy, Karen Shetty doesn’t have a lot going on upstairs. That’s Pinot Grigio. It’s easygoing and drinkable, but most examples are porch-pounders that don’t give you a ton of complexity to ponder.
Pinot Grigios our reviewers are loving right now:
- Fantinel 2021 Sun Goddess Ramato Pinot Grigio Pinot Grigio (Friuli), 91 Points. Buy here.
- Jermann 2021 Pinot Grigio (Friuli), 92 Points. Buy here.
- Roeno 2022 Tera Alta Pinot Grigio Pinot Grigio (Valdadige), 91 Points. Buy here.
Gretchen Wieners and Oaked Chardonnay
Thin-skinned and incredibly malleable, oaked Chardonnay fits Gretchen Wieners to a tee. Both easily bend to peer pressure—Gretchen to Regina George, and oaked Chard to flavorful wood barrels. And just like Gretchen’s hair, oaked Chard is big and full of secrets: Is that big flavor courtesy of oak chips? The best barrels money can buy? We’ll never know. Also, just saying, it goes great with Toaster Strudel.
Chardonnays our reviewers are loving right now:
- Beringer 2021 Luminus Chardonnay (Oak Knoll District), 92 Points. Buy here.
- Schug 2022 Chardonnay (Carneros), 92 Points. Buy here.
- Boomtown 2022 Chardonnay (Columbia Valley (WA)), 90 Points. Buy here.
Janis ‘Imi’ike and Petit Verdot
A free-spirited loner and rejector of the social order, Janis is Petit Verdot. Inky black and goth-like in hue—just like Janis’s coiffure (and the eyeliner of the 2004 film’s Janis Ian)—this outsider grape isn’t exactly a household name, but it has a devoted following. Not for nothing, the grape is native to southwestern France in Bordeaux, where it can dominate the local Cabernet Sauvignon (hello, Regina George) if pushed to its limits.
Petit Verdots our reviewers are loving right now:
- Cuda Ridge 2021 Petit Verdot (Livermore Valley), 91 Points. Buy here.
- Casale del Giglio 2021 Petit Verdot Petit Verdot (Lazio), 90 Points. Buy here.
- Final Girl 2020 Petit Verdot (Happy Canyon of Santa Barbara), 91 Points. Buy here.
Damian Hubbard and Gamay
Charming, funny and part of the alternative crowd? Damian is Gamay. We’re talking about non-traditional, modern expressions that are attention-grabbing and fruit-forward, with slight effervescence and an almost candy-like flavor that smacks of bubble gum, Sweet Tarts and Gushers. Of course, it can also be quite tart and sour.
Gamays our reviewers are loving right now:
- Pascal Berthier 2022 Esprit de Séduction (Saint-Amour), 90 Points. Buy here.
- Stasis 2021 Gamay Noir (Santa Barbara County), 93 Points. Buy here.
- Lucy 2022 Gamay Noir (Santa Lucia Highlands), 93 Points. Buy here.
Aaron Samuels and Malbec
Everyone loves a good black Malbec, and everyone—at least Cady and Regina—want a piece of North Shore High School’s resident hottie. Malbec is a crowd pleaser and pairs easily with wildly different kinds of food. It’s not exactly thought-provoking, but that doesn’t stop everyone from wanting a sip.
Malbecs our reviewers are loving right now:
- Atrevida 2022 Malbec (Mendoza), 90 Points. Buy here.
- HandCraft 2012 Malbec (California), 90 Points. Buy here.
- BenMarco 2021 Malbec (Uco Valley), 91 Points. Buy here.
Kevin Ganatra and Orange Wine
This Mathletes champ is smart and outgoing, but a little dorky (despite fancying himself quite hip). That’s orange wine, a.k.a. the stuff that the self-professed cool kids in natural wine bars can’t stop drinking. The best examples have bold flavors and can’t be mistaken for anything else, much like Kevin. It’s also arguably the wine of brainiacs: Orange wine, which is often made with specialized equipment like amphorae and lesser-known indigenous grapes, requires some education to fully appreciate.
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Orange wines our reviewers are loving right now:
- Hideaway 2021 Choose to Cruise?Venture Out Camp 4 VIneyard Orange Wine White (Santa Ynez Valley), 91 Points. Buy here.
- Neighborhood 2022 Dawn Orange Wine-White Blend (Central Coast), 92 Points. Buy here.
Ms. Norbury and Grenache
In a blend, Grenache elevates and brightens the flavors of its fellow grapes. That reminds us of Ms. Norbury, an idealistic and compassionate teacher who pushes her students to be better (not onto drugs!).
Grenaches our reviewers are loving right now:
- John Duval Wines 2022 Concilio Grenache (Barossa Valley), 91 Points. Buy here.
- Margerum 2022 Grenache (Santa Barbara County), 93 Points. Buy here.
- Thistledown 2022 She’s Electric Old Vine Single Vineyard Grenache (McLaren Vale), 94 Points. Buy here.
Mrs. June George and Canned Sparkling Wine
She’s not a regular mom, she’s a cool mom. This description of Regina’s mother can also hold true for canned sparkling wine. It looks fun, with attractive branding and eye-catching visuals. But cans aren’t always the best vehicle for sparklers—much like Mrs. George, it can sometimes fall flat.
Canned sparkling wines our reviewers are loving right now:
- Hoxie Strawberry Rosé Wine Spritzer, 91 Points. Buy here.
- Maker 2020 Nicole Walsh Ser Winery Rosé of Grenache (Monterey), 88 Points. Buy here.
- Underwood 2017 The Bubbles Sparkling (Oregon), 87 Points. Buy here.
- Underwood 2017 Rosé Bubbles Sparkling (Oregon), 87 Points. Buy here.
Principal Duvall and Merlot
Steady and reliable, Principal Duvall can throw down if need be. That’s Merlot, the blend-favored grape that just wants to get along with everyone. It can mellow out abrasiveness with velvety texture and tannins, but don’t write it off as a wallflower. Merlot can have a powerful character, especially in hot years when it comes out swinging.
Merlots our reviewers are loving right now:
- Decoy 2021 Limited Merlot (Alexander Valley), 92 Points. Buy here.
- Bouchaine 2022 Hyde Vineyard Merlot (Carneros-Napa Valley), 95 Points. Buy here.
- Maddalena 2022 Merlot (Paso Robles), 91 Points. Buy here.
Published: January 19, 2024